I’ve noticed a disgusting new trend at national bookstores. Everywhere I turn there’s some video vixen, porn star, or sex tape cum celebrity (pun intended) offering me tips on how to live my life like them.

I can learn to work the stripper pole like them, party the way they do, and read their simple 5 step, how-to manual chock full of important information about how to give the best blow job, hand job, male orgasm, and mind-blowing sex that any partner of mine could ever hope to have. I can read about the drugs they’ve done, the sexual partners they’ve had, and the horrible parents that made them who they are today. Oh, so this is who I’m supposed to be. For who?

What I really wonder is: when did the mainstream decide that women should look up to hookers, whores, and prostitutes? Now look, ladies of the night, I’m not downing you. Do it to it and bankroll it when you do; I’m not judging you. I’m just asking: why are we writing books about this lifestyle and stocking them in the self-improvement section???

You’re not kidding me with some “these tips and tricks will keep your man happy and satisfied” bullshit, because I can see right through that mess. None of you are to be preaching to me about monogamy and a married, traditional way of life. Your “well, your men wouldn’t stray if you knew these moves” remarks can go shove it with that nonsense too because a man – and a woman – stray when they aren’t getting emotionally fulfilled. Infidelity is not a result of a fantastic relationship with a mild sex life, it is always – ALWAYS – about lack of emotional fulfillment. And that shit you’re peddling to me has zero to do with emotions and core relationship problems. Nay, this trash literature is not “teaching” me, or any other female who thinks with her head and not her vagina, anything positive at all.

I’ve heard the whole “It’s about being a fearless woman who’s in touch with her sexuality just like a man” line and let me tell you that this shit is tired. It is not liberating that these women have objectified themselves and made themselves famous for catering to men. That you can fuck on screen does not make you a liberated woman. The porn industry is not run by females, ladies, it is run by men. Read this slowly: by men, for men, to please men. Watch any pop shot and I’m here to tell you that getting sprayed in the face with jizz while you’re on your knees is not what it means to be a free woman.

It’s not okay to become an object of any kind. You are fooling yourself when you say that you are “playing the game” and that you’re well in control of yourself and your image. So long as you are compromising yourself and playing to irrational expectations of what it means to be a woman, you’ll never know what it means to be liberated or to be free.

Dolls, take this to heart. A man who will degrade you, or allow you to degrade yourself to please him, does not have your best interests at heart.